Friday, December 18, 2015

A very happy Christmas and New Year!

Hello everybody -- a very Happy Christmas and New Year to all!

Here is a rather wonderful drawing that Niamh did for Christmas, which we thought you might enjoy:


Here's a little Christmas postcard of us four:


I've also put up a link our most recent prayer letter to this, for a summary of what has been happening in our ministry.  You can get it by clicking here.

Hope that you all have a Christmas full of grace and peace,

Paul




Posted by Paul and Emma at 7:37 pm | 1 comments  
Monday, September 14, 2015

Overcoming Boundaries, Building Bridges Conference



To follow up the last post -- I had a great time on Saturday at the "Overcoming Boundaries, Building Bridges" conference that covered some of the issues raised in the Church of Scotland's recently published Interfaith and Mission Report.  A good group of people came to my seminar on "Welcoming Migrants."  There were so many good questions and discussions that I didn't have time to finish.  I always think that's better than running through all the prepared material, but leaving people bored!  All the seminars were of really high quality and Dr David Smith's opening talk on "Christ's Mission in a Multi-Faith Society: Challenges and Opportunities" was both challenging and hopeful.  The closing worship was sung in Urdu and English and led on tabla drums, which was a fitting end to a conference about the breadth of God's mission for the world.

The Interfaith and Mission Report is well worth reading.  It was commissioned by the Church of Scotland and, obviously, speaks to the context here, but it's scope is much broader.  I'd say it is relevant for anybody interested in the church's mission, regardless of denomination.

A link to the report is here: Interfaith and Mission Report (by the way, it's free!)



I also enjoyed being in Queen's Park Govanhill Parish Church, which I've driven by many times, but I've never been inside.  It's a beautiful building and their yellow doors add a nice splash of colour to the street when Glasgow is grey and dreich.




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Friday, September 11, 2015

Speaking, training

As many of you know, Emma was recently doing some training and facilitating discussion for a brilliant group called Edinburgh Churches for Sanctuary, and she is due to do a follow up session later this month on the 17 September.  It's all the more pertinent now that Edinburgh is now set to welcome 100 Syrian refugees -- more than double the original number suggested.  I was there speaking on a panel for their launch event about six months ago; so encouraging to see how much things have progressed in that time and how many volunteers have come forward.  With all the current media focus on offering sanctuary for Syrian refugees and outpouring of goodwill, I think ECfS are setting a great example on how to get things done (especially that they've been at this for a while and are committed to the issue for the long haul).

Tomorrow morning, I'm speaking at a Church of Scotland hosted mission training event called "Overcoming Barriers, Building Bridges", which is all about the role of Christian witness in our increasingly multi-faith society.  I'm leading a semiar on the issue of "Welcoming Migrants."  I hoping to draw on the biblical and theological basis of a Christian approach to welcome and then discuss some practical examples about how we can offer welcome.

Prayers for this are appreciated.  We enjoying teaching and facilitating discussion, but hope that this all goes beyond meetings and is useful in equipping others to get involved in serving and sharing the gospel with refugees, asylum seekers, and other migrants.

P.
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Monday, September 07, 2015

...let there be a springtime of peace.

Niamh has a wonderful book of prayers that we dip in and out of.  Unlike a lot of books of this nature, it manages to be relevant to what kids are going through (like, prayers about going to school) but without being reductionist or boiling all narrative and mystery down to bland moralising.

Tonight we happened across these two prayers; they seemed so relevant given the current refugee crisis, these cries of lament and hope.


~*~


Where the bombs are falling
let there be only rain.

Where the bullets are whistling
let there be only wind.

Where war has left the land bleak and bare
let there be a springtime of peace.


~*~

Lord, watch over refugees:
tired feet aching.
Help them bear their heavy loads:
bent backs breaking.
May they find a place of rest:
no fears awake them.
May you always be their guide:
never forsake them.

From: God Bless Me: A Child's Prayer Book (Lion: 2001)




In a similar vein, while in the library, I came across a brilliant book: Azzi In Between by Sarah Garland (FL: 2012).  It has been out a few years now, but new to me.  It is a compassionate comic book style story about a refugee girl called Azzi.  It not only tells the story about why and how she and her family fled war, but (crucially, imo) tells the story as she struggles to make a new life in a strange country.  I think it would help young readers to empathise with refugees and also shows how small acts of kindness, hospitality, and friendship can make such a huge difference to the refugees living amongst us.  It was a bit beyond Niamh and she looked a bit confused as I struggled to read it through tears! I guessing that kids aged 7+ will get the most out of this one.


~*~

Who wasn't disturbed by the picture of Aylan Kurdi lying dead on the beach?  I could barely bring myself to look at it.  While in Greece, I heard stories regularly of people, and of course children, dying in the Mediterranean.  The scale of the current crisis is unprecedented, but in many ways, it's nothing new.  I don't know about other people who work with refugees, but I can recognise a story as tragic, but I can keep my emotions at bay.  Maybe I'm calloused at times or just don't have the emotional facility to take in all the stories of human tragedy.  I was a confused why the picture of Aylan disturbed me so much.  Why this in particular?  The other night Shane woke with a cough, a cry, and he needed comforted back to sleep.  As I looked at him there, drifting off to sleep again, it struck me that he was lying in the same position as Aylan.  Maybe part of it is that in the photo, we can't see his face.  It makes in personal: he looks like my child, or he could be anybody's child.  Here, the tragedy isn't so removed.  I'm forced to consider: what if that was my child?  Upon seeing the image, empathy hits like a devastating wave.

Lord, may you always be their guide, never forsake them.

P.



Posted by Paul and Emma at 11:51 pm | 0 comments  
Thursday, June 18, 2015

St Rollox Photos 2015

It has been a busy year at St Rollox.  Much joy and sadness in equal measure while trying our best to be faithful though it all.  Here are some photos that I took the past couple of weeks for some funding reports and the St Rollox annual report.

For those of you who haven't been able to visit us in Glasgow, I hope this helps to visualise a major part of our daily routine.

Enjoy!

Paul















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Monday, June 01, 2015

Another summer, another update

Facebook has allowed for more frequent micro-blogging, so the old blog isn't getting as much love at it should.  It's a time issue really.  Given the general chaos of life with two small children, it's far easier to fire up a few lines on social media to talk about what is happening or share a prayer request.  This is great, but it's not the sort of more sustained reflection that the blog offers, a more joined-up picture of what the Wilsons are doing in Glasgow.  Which is a good thing, but with the precious free time that we do have, I'm generally more keen to spend it outdoors rather than sitting in front of a screen tapping away.

I'm also aware that sometimes we assume our friends and family know about what is going on, but that's not always the case.  So here I'll try to give a summary of life and ministry since I last updated the blog.  And... having a look, that was just after the Commonwealth Games.  So this is overdue.

Destitution Support at St Rollox


Support for some of the most vulnerable asylum seekers, the destitute, is still going on thanks to the overwhelmingly generous response to the Great Swim fundraiser last year.  We're currently regularly supporting about 15 people who have no access to support otherwise.  As always, the programme is limited so we don't stretch ourselves too thin and so we can maintain a strong relational core to our ministry.

In the past year, a lot has taken off in regards to providing more holistic support to our destitute friends.  Many of you know that we had planned to provide housing to the destitute.  The vision for Fasgadh House ('fasgadh' is a Scottish Gaelic word meaning shelter or refuge) was strong, but we didn't have the resources to see it come into fruition.  But all the time planning and praying was not in vain, the project was driven forward by some partners in ministry and is now providing a safe haven to three women who had no support otherwise.

The other noticeable gap in support for the destitute was regarding their legal situation.  It's an area that can only be broached by experts.  There has been years of hard work going on behind the scenes to provide feasible legal support.  Like Fasgadh House, this has recently come to fruition due to some hard grafting by the Refugee Survival Trust and Refugee Council.  We're delighted that St Rollox is one of the places where they are offering the initial triaging stages of their support.  This will allow our destitute to get out of a rut and make some practical decisions about their future.

We've rejoiced with friends who have made progress on their cases and are now resident.  We pray for others who have left unexpectedly.  We try our best offer a listening ear and empathy to those who, after a glimmer of hope of progress in their cases, are destitute again without a home or food.

We've been able to carve out a unique role in serving the destitute.  We don't provide all the support at St Rollox -- we offer food, a social outlet, and spiritual support -- but the church has become a base that has linked into other aspects of help.

Supporting the destitute has been a blessing, but do continue to prayer for us as we try to serve them.  The situations are desperate and sometimes there is no hope for a 'good' outcome.  Desperate people can also act in difficult and unpredictable ways.  Every day we need a good dose of patience and empathy to continue.

Studies at 'New College'


"Perhaps people are suspicious of the Bible because Christians sometimes try to use it to win arguments with people who don't know anything about it.  Which is a bit like being lost in London and someone saying to you 'Well if you I could just refer you to the A to Z, page 27, grid reference G4..."

Though funny, I think the comedian Milton Jones touches on something quite true in his book 10 Second Sermons (which I must thank my mother-in-law for gifting to me a couple years back).  In our work, I'd say that I spend most of my time with people who don't read the Bible.  Yet many of the conversations that I have are about the Bible.  Particularly with my refugee friends from the Middle East.  How Christians read the Bible and why they come to the theological decisions that they do underlie many of the discussions that I have.

I've started doing my Masters in Biblical Studies with the University of Edinburgh at the historic New College.  I often felt the need to have a better grasp on the tools of biblical interpretation.  It's all the stuff that I didn't focus on in my undergraduate theology degree because I was so excited to move onto more 'practical' issues.  Not that there's anything wrong with the issues of practical theology, it's totally essential! Still, I felt that my practical theologising (ministry, basically) would benefit from being able to use the Bible with more intellectual integrity.

The programme that I'm on is big on languages, so by the time I graduate I should have some competency in Greek and Hebrew.  I'm also doing research into issues of historical context and interpretation.  I know that this kind of stuff isn't for everybody and usually incites yawns.  I'll be honest, I would've been easier to do a research masters in something to do with refugee work, urban ministry, and the local church.  I do find reading about grammar a real struggle at times, it's just not how my brain is naturally wired.  But I felt that this challenge would be of greater benefit to me in the longer term and that the biblical studies would better inform any more specific studies I might do in the future.

As for the experience of studying again, I am enjoying it.  I'm impressed with how New College run their theology programme.  The postgraduate students are a very diverse group.  There are students from all over the word and unlike some other theological programmes I've been on, it is not totally dominated by male students.  In my current programme in Biblical Studies, there are as many women as men which, to my mind, has added greater depth to our class discussions.  I also appreciate how New College promotes interdisciplinary studies.  Students are encouraged to take one elective outside our field and we all use the same facilities.  There's also something hard to quantify, but there's a really good atmosphere about the place.  There's a nice combination of respect and accessibility.  While there are some 'big names' in the school, all the lecturers have been approachable, helpful, and not pretentious.  It's also a priviledge to study in such an amazing building in a beautiful part of Edinburgh.  The travel is tiring, but I feel unbelievably grateful for the opportunity that I have to study when I walk through the stunning quadrangle.

I've just completed my first year, my results have been better than I expected (which is a nice bonus).  I have one more year of classes, then I'll write my dissertation over the summer.  In the year I've just completed, I've studied the following topics:
  • Biblical Hebrew
  • New Testament Greek
  • I & II Kings 
    • I was privileged/lucky to be part of a group that were the first readers of Graeme Auld's as of yet unpublished book on the composition of Kings and the so-called 'synoptic problem' in Kings-Samuel-Chronicles; I out of my depth most of the time, but it offered a fascinating insight into of the work that goes into major scholarly publication.
  • Memory theory and current historical Jesus research
  • The formation of the Jewish Canon
  • Christian-Muslim Relations
    • My course in Christian-Muslim relations was my 'elective' choice.  It was a real eye-opener.  My postgraduate seminars included a Muslim student as well as an agnostic, so the discussions were fascinating.  I also would like to make the suggestion that before people go posting highly ideological Youtube videos on Facebook, do a bit more reading before you pretend that a particular extremist ideology represents millions of people.  It's very easy to indulge one's fears and this can be done on either side of the divide.  A fascinating aspect of the course was our section on Christian-Muslim relations in the 7th-9th Centuries.  Arabic speaking Christians have a witness that is worth looking into as many 'contemporary' issues of contextualisation were debated over a thousand years ago.  It's also worth considering the theology of Arabic Christians and their history of witness while we advocate about the terrible persecution modern Arabic Christian communities are facing.  Let's not make these Christians in our own image.  If we are going to use descriptions like "brothers and sisters in Christ" let us take time to consider what this claim actually means and whether or not the way we talk about our Christian neighbours at home, even those we disagree with, fit into this familial expression of grace and generosity.  It's an issue of integrity that is not lost on a watching world.  I think anybody interested in Christian witness and Islam could benefit from reading Mark Beaumont's Christology in Dialogue with Muslims.



Family Matters

(no reference to cringe-worthy 90s sitcoms intended!)

Niamh is enjoying school and it's hard to believe that she's nearly finished with P1!  She has become a proper adventurer, doing some proper hikes with us over the holidays.  She is currently taking swimming lessons, but has also done gymnastics and has been to the bouldering wall with her dad.  She is artistic, loses stuff easily, is prone to flights of fancy, a touch sensitive, but rather determined and stubborn once she sets her mind on something.  Emma says it really reminds her of somebody else in the family... I have no idea what she means!

Shane is a wild man.  The opposite to his sister in so many ways at this age, but they are becoming great pals.  It has been over a year since is surgery and seems to be getting on well.  His speech is coming along.  He can make most noises, but will probably need a bit of support with some noises (s & f in particular) that he struggles with.  Still, we're encouraged that he is not put off by the difficultly of trying to speak and keeps learning and trying out new words.

We have sold our flat, but we are still caretakers of the St Rollox manse.  Our non-typical form of earning a living doesn't fit into many boxes, so with the recent cautionary stance on mortgages we're unlikely to get a mortgage easily.  We are actively looking into some different options and enjoying the space that our temporary home currently allows us.

On the topic of our old flat, something amazing happened.  It took over a year to sell, but our old flat was purchased by a charity and is now the Fasgadh House (as written about above) that is  giving shelter to destitute women.  We were told that our flat was ideal for the charity's needs.  I'm happy that the flat sold, but even happier that it's being used in a way that furthers the kingdom.  Waiting is difficult, but we believe that God moved providentially in how our flat was sold and purchased by the right people.  It's a good reminder as we wait where we are, not really settled and concerned about keeping Niamh her school and wondering if we'll need to move out of the area, that God is still active while we wait and that we trust that any future move will be the right thing.


Scotland in 2014... 2015... and who knows..?

In the past year, Scotland was rarely out of the headlines.  There was sport: the resounding success of the Commonwealth Games and the Ryder Cup (but let's not talk about the rugby).  The biggest story was politics, the independence referendum and now the collapse of Scottish Labour and the rise of the SNP.  While I can't speak for the rest of the country, Glasgow has felt highly charged.  Emotions run understandably high.  I might be wrong, but I think one underlying and critical question is one of identity; there have been wars over less, so we should be thankful that issues have been debated, not fought over. I'll admit to finding it all tiring at times and the rhetoric overblown, particularly the shrill tone of much social media debate.  That said, I've been encouraged that there's no longer a mood of political apathy.  Springburn, where we lived, had a notoriously low voter turnout and general civic disengagement.  The independence debate did spark something there and the political momentum the referendum rolled through into the most recent general election.  The swing of the vote in Glasgow North-East was unprecedented.  I hope some of this energy is positively channelled and that local charities, politicians, business, schools, etc., can translate it into a fresh impetus toward a stronger community that addresses many of the negative social problems we face daily.

Greek connections

We're still surprised by how often we make Greek connections here in Glasgow.  Just the other day, I found myself unable to communicate with some new Syrian guys at the computer lab.  Turns out one of them had spent some time in Greece, knew about Omonia and Helping Hands, and spoke Greek about as badly as I do.

Our friend Steve, who worked with us at Helping Hands, has been coming along on a Tuesday to St Rollox and cooking our lunches.  It's amazing what he can do with such a limited budget and all of Emma's Arabic speaking friends ask for recipes.

Thanks for reading, will try to post updates more regularly from now on!  Some pictures below too:

Niamh did a walk across the Forth Road Bridge in terrible weather with a bunch of other people from the charity CLAPA (Celft Lip and Palate Association) because they did so much to help her little brother.  Niamh raised about £150! Very proud of her.

We've had some decent weather and Shane and I have got out on many adventures -- here's us hiking in the Campsie Fells.  Shane also loves his seat on the back of my bike.  Little adventurer.

On weekends, we've made some family trips out to the wonderful beaches on the East Coast.  Here we are at Belhaven Bay, enjoying a paddle in the sea.


Right when the eclipse happened, the clouds broke briefly and I was able to snap this photo.  I have never seen anything like it, pretty spectacular.




Posted by Paul and Emma at 4:03 pm | 0 comments  
Thursday, August 14, 2014

Glasgow 2014, pure dead brilliant


When we first drove into Glasgow, our little Vaxhaul Agila stuffed with all of our belongings, I remember seeing a large poster hanging from a building just after the M8 took us over the Clyde River.  If I remember correctly, there was a young boy on a track, baton in hand, looking forward determinedly.  There was a Commonwealth Games logo and a caption saying something like, "In 2014, he will be ready.  Will you?"

In August 2008, that seemed a long way away (and yes, we've been in Glasgow for 6 years now -- where does the time go?).  That Glasgow was going to host the Commonwealth Games has always been somewhere in the background, even if it wasn't at the forefront of our minds.  Always there, but it felt too distant to get excited about.

A couple weeks ago, we walked up to the main road through torrential rain to watch the Queen's Baton Relay pass by.  Despite the terrible conditions, there were so many people out to see it pass by.  There was a stage set up by the leisure centre and Norfolk Island's Commonwealth Games team was there.  To be honest, I had never heard of the place before.  But everybody was cheering, trying out badminton and hurdles in 'come and try' stalls.  That all of this was being done with raincoats and umbrellas wasn't a major barrier to all these people determined to enjoy themselves.  It was at this point that it felt like we were on the cusp of something that was going to be very exciting.



The day the Commonwealth Games opened, we had glorious sunshine and it, for the most part, remained this way throughout the fortnight.  Glasgow took on a real festival atmosphere -- not only for the sport, but cultural events everywhere; music, street performers, pop-up shops, bits of the street closed off to become a children's play area... it was brilliant.  It was Glasgow at its best.  The city felt welcoming, vibrant, and confident.  I'll admit some initial cynicism just before the games, especially after the bizarre (and thankfully later reversed) decision to demolish the Red Road flats  as part of the opening ceremony.  It didn't take very long for me to feel taken along by the wave of optimism that accompanied the arrival of the Games; Scottish rugby great John Beattie said on Radio Scotland that he believed the Commonwealth Games were the most exciting thing to come to Glasgow in his memory -- not just for the sport, but for the chance to celebrate and meet people from so many places around the world, as well as offering then a proper welcome to our city. David Grevemberg praised Glasgow for embracing the Commonwealth Games with "joyous enthusiasm".  This feels like an apt description to me.

"People Make Glasgow"

The press have been overwhelmingly positive about the games, suggesting that  Glasgow rescued the Games from irrelevance after a lacklustre showing in Delhi four years ago.  96% of all the tickets to sporting events were sold, which is an example of how well the games were supported.  Even though I'm a relative newcomer here, I felt incredibly proud of the city I now call home.  I also think that the 'games legacy' may be more than a pipe dream.  Regeneration agencies in the east end were positive about the Games' potential to act as a catalyst to development in some of our poorest neighbourhoods.


Soon we were brought back to reality after the games closed and the buzz faded.  The city council were forced to remove the beloved 'Clyde' mascot statues after one was stolen and some others vandalised.  Usual stories about crime in Glasgow were once again headlining the local papers.

As Snow Patrol sang once, when it's all over, we still have to clear up.  That Glasgow cannot revel in festival-mode indefinitely does not render the Commonwealth Games irrelevant in my mind.  Here I think of retreats or Christian conferences -- while good things, they are not the whole of life.  These can be important places to encounter good teaching, experience restoration, or simply re-focus on things that are meaningful.  The experiences at these events are well and good, but it must be taken onward, translated and applied to everyday life or it becomes little more than escapism.

Only time will tell if the Commonwealth Games were successful in promoting lasting change.  But I remain hopeful.  I do believe that the image of the city has changed in the wake of the games, from a source of jokes or dire statistics about life expectancy, to something more positive and confident.

In our work with refugees, what did the Games mean for us?  Even for the destitute refugees we work with, many of them were able to take part in some of the free events on in the city.  One Yemeni friend told me "Glasgow is extra beautiful and happy right now and I feel like I am included." "Included" is not how I've heard refugees and asylum seekers explain their experience of Glasgow, so this was refreshing to hear.
At St Rollox, we were able to ride the wave of excitement; we hosted a 'family fun day' and opened up for lunch in the first week of the games.  We set up a big map with pins on it to show where all the free things were happening, especially the things that were put on for families.  'More Than Gold' provided us with a number of sport related resources.  We shared about Jesus over bowls of soup and coffee.  HUNDREDS of New Testaments were taken voluntarily (not just given away).
In the city, it was good to see the Street Pastors so visibly ministering among the crowds.  Our friends at Glasgow City Mission hosted anumber events sharing God's love with homeless but also drawing attention to the problem of homelessness in Glasgow and advocating just solutions.

The Wilson family have great memories of when Glasgow hosted the Commonwealth Games.  It was a once in a lifetime experience as it's unlikely that I'll have the pleasure to live in a city that hosts something on that scale ever again.  A guy from our church in Glasgow worked on this video (part of it was actually shown at the closing ceremony!) and I felt it really captures the feel of Glasgow during the games.  I've also put up some more pictures below.




"Come and Try" outside the Bishopbriggs Leisuredrome.  Eilidh Child watch your back.

Me, Clyde, Niamh, and our friend Wendy who was up from London to visit and enjoy some of the Commonwealth craic.

Cheering on the marathon runners; pretty sure that's the Scottish runner Susan Partridge.

First day of the games and an obligatory photo in front of the big G.


The cycling time trial as it passed through Bishopbriggs.  So many people out at the round-a-bout cheering on the cyclists, great atmosphere.

Cheering on Team Scotland!
Posted by Paul and Emma at 12:22 am | 0 comments  
Wednesday, June 11, 2014

International Haggises



I bumped into one of Emma's Algerian friends while I was collecting food for the destitution programme last week.  I was invited the launch of a newly published cookbook -- about types of haggis from around the world.  The humble haggis, viewed as quintessentially Scottish and oft (unfairly in my mind) mocked, is actually shared by many cultures around the world.  Dynamic cultural equivalents are to be found in the most unexpected of places.

The book comes out of an event that happened last year: http://goo.gl/wmSJpo

The book launch should be a celebration for these women who worked hard on the project, but it comes rather with a sense of sadness.  One of the ladies who was very influential in the women's group that collected the recipes died last year.  She was also a well loved volunteer at St Rollox -- some of you might remember me writing about it.  The family, and particularly her husband, have found this to be a very difficult time and the anniversary of her death is bound to add to their experience of loss and sadness.  Please keep this family in your prayers.

Paul
Posted by Paul and Emma at 5:04 pm | 0 comments  
Sunday, June 01, 2014

Shanenanigans



It has been ages since I've updated this -- not the first time I've said this, and it won't be the last I'm sure.   A lot has happened since I last wrote about swimming in Loch Lomond, probably too much for one post.  Most people who keep up with us on this are linked in via Facebook and see our updates there.  In some ways, it's an easier medium when you're knackered as you can pop a few lines about how things are going.

Shane's surgery and the rest of us

The biggest thing for the Wilsons this past year was Shane's cleft repair.  The surgeon was pleased with how the surgery went, though it will take a while for us to know if it was successful.  Indicators being how his speech develops, etc.  But the signs seem positive thus far. His little voice already sounds different -- he has even managed to say "ba" and click his tongue, something he couldn't do before the surgery (the speech therapist was impressed).  Shane is now able to make suction with his mouth, which gave him quite a shock when he first went back to the bottle.  Shane refused food for a couple days, but now seems to have his appetite back.  His first tooth also appeared a few days after surgery -- all he wants to do is chew on stuff, but we had to remove all the toys that he could get into his mouth because they could damage the stitches and hamper the healing process.  You can imagine how well this has gone down with the boy!
It was great to have Jen and Dave Spence to help us while Shane was going through with the op.  It made things much easier to deal with and their help was invaluable.  Niamh thinks her granny and granda should move in permanently, such was the fun she had.

Since being out of hospital, there have been good days and bad days.  Sometimes, you would never know this was a baby who just came through fairly major surgery.  Other days, he just seems to moan in pain and frustration constantly.  Constantly.  There's hardly anything that can calm him when he's "in a state." It's difficult to cope with sometimes.  No.  Not sometimes.  It's just difficult to cope with. 
It takes me back to when he was a tiny thing and colicky, or worse, when his reflux got so bad that he would only sleep while being held upright in our arms and Emma and I would take shifts standing up all night to get him to sleep.  Of course, none of what he's doing now is actually as bad as before (even on bad days, he manages to sleep most of the night), but the stress and anxiety hasn't fully left my system and can surge in an overwhelming way at times.  And it seems after a few good days, he gets a cold or some other sort of infection and is miserable.  Again, this is just normal life with small children, the lovely little germ incubators that they are.  But due to all the past stress, it can be difficult to remain rational -- all the "what if..." questions cropping up.  Like, "What if he doesn't just have a sore cough, but there is something wrong with his stitches?"  "What if he needs a second operation because his mouth hasn't healed correctly?" And so on.

Niamh tearing it up on her new (to her, anyway) bike on a rare sunny day.

Niamh has done very well, but she's a sensitive little girl and picks up on our stress as well.  She went through a phase of  waking up every other night and needing extra comfort to go back to sleep.  It can range from a genuine nightmare to the ridiculous like, "AHHHHHH! My sock is almost off my foot!"  But for the most part, she has been brilliant.  Niamh is easily her brother's favourite person and she can always cheer him (if only briefly) with a game of, "Oh no, it's the baby!"  She basically shouts and him then hides behind the sofa, then runs away when Shane crawls over to her.  It's cute and VERY noisy. Here's a video of it in action, before the game gets interrupted with banana cake:



Shane just celebrated his first birthday (but wasn't allowed any cake, boohoo) and, as of this morning, stood up by himself for the first time. 

On a 1st birthday walk at Aberlady.
Leaving house, selling house, moving house, living, and (not) living in the community

Moving house has been another difficult thing.  We're feeling genuinely happy and at comfortable looking after a vacant Church of Scotland manse in Bishopbriggs.  But needing to sell the flat in Springburn has left me with a sense of disappointment.  Probably misplaced, but there it is anyway.

The main reason for moving from Springburn is that our family has outgrown the place.  We thought we could keep Niamh and Shane in the same room for a couple years, but with the health issues that kept him from sleeping early on, we quickly learned that this wouldn't work.  Another difficultly is that the flat was too small to host our refugee friends and give our kids the space they need when we offer hospitality.  Many of the cultures we work with are a bit more hands-on than what the kids are used to and they get tired and a bit irritable -- more so than if we take them out to our refugee friends' houses for some reason.

Space -- or the lack thereof -- was not the only concern.  We started to have some major issues with a difficult neighbour.  The late night karaoke parties and flooding from upstairs (twice!) took their toll.  Even going out on a trip would cause some anxiety -- lingering in my mind the whole holiday or day-trip would be, "I hope that we have a kitchen with working electrical sockets and a ceiling when we get home."  The times our flat was flooded, we were very lucky to be in.  Otherwise, the damage would've been much much worse.

Our building also constantly smelled of dodgy cannabis.  Anything I left outside the door would reek of skunk, my biggest concern being the children's stuff.

The communal back garden couldn't be used by the kids because the usual suspects in our building used it as a doggy toilet.  A road borders the back garden, so it became a bin of sorts -- new bottles of Buckfast appearing nightly, styrofoam chip boxes, lots and lots of crisp packets, and other things I didn't really want to investigate any further.  So not an ideal place for children to play. The housing association was pretty toothless in trying to make any progress on this.

I don't write all of this to make our situation in Springburn seem really bad.  It wasn't.  There were, and still are, many things I love about the place.  And barring only a couple difficult people, many of our neighbours were brilliant and showed us great acceptance, friendship, and hospitality.  And they don't have the opportunity to live in a nice manse in suburbs and have to live with the same disturbances we have been lucky enough to leave behind for a while.

So this raises a lot of circular questions and doubts in my mind:  the first being is that I'm a failure when it comes to trying to live incarnationally in a community like Springburn.  When the going got tough, did I just bail?  Is this evidence of a lack of faith in my calling?  Now I know that is just me being hard on myself and unrealistic, something I am prone to. 
Trying to be a responsible parent, I do have to think of kids and their safety.  Thinking rationally: not being able to get a good night of sleep and inhaling second-hand cannabis smoke when entering the building isn't an ideal situation.  I'm not sure how many of these issues would even  bother me if the kids weren't around.  Many of the same pressures were there before the kids, but we just got on with it. The presence of children amplifies our reactions to things.  As a good friend of mine told me, "Having kids changes the game.  The rules are suddenly different and you're left trying to adapt everything."  Even for us, there are aspects of living in a nicer area that are a relief.   I haven't had anything thrown at me or been accosted by addicts looking for cash in Bishopbriggs.  Emma feels safer to go out when it's getting darker, she's able to get back into running.  It's a nice break not having to feel so vigilant all the time.

If you're so inclined, I recommend this article by DLMayfield.  I found resonance with much of what she writes and think she describes the complicated dynamics of a similar situation in a way that I can't.

The opportunity to be caretakers of the manse was presented to us and in living here, we are helping one of our partner churches by looking after the place, and we trying to humble ourselves enough to be recipients of hospitality, instead of just offerers.  The reality check is that the manse is not a permanent situation.  Realistically, an area like Springburn is all we can afford if we're to keep on with what we're doing.  Part of the stress comes from the 'constancy' of ministry in a more deprived community.  Here in the 'burbs, I've been taken back by how quiet the street is, how we haven't even met our neighbours; there's something that makes me sad about this, but I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't sort of nice to just close the door and know that I'll be left alone after spending a long day with homeless refugees in desperate situations.  Sometimes it's not easy to just come home and switch off because, at the core, what we do is all about people, relationships.  Relationships are not bound by business hours and 'weekends off'.  I do think we have got better at finding space as a family, but a crisis can happen any time.  Our work with refugees shouldn't be limited to working hours and we are happy to respond when difficulties arise.  But this means the constant rebalancing of availability and boundaries.  Even when done prayerfully, there are no easy answers.  We do plan to stay in an area like Springburn if we can, but we will need to find a home that's more suitable for our family.  Somewhere that strikes a balance between being available and part of the community, but also offering us something of a sanctuary.  In real terms, I think this means: our own front door, nobody above to flood us, and a wee closed in garden.  We've seen some places that do fit the bill, but...

...we need the old flat to sell.  We've already taken a hit on the selling price and can't really consider knocking any more off.  The estate agents seem confident, but patience is a difficult thing.  Part of me just wants to move to one place and know that we'll stay there for a while, rather than the constant flux.  On the positive side, the more you need to move, the more difficult it becomes to accumulate STUFF.

Honesty and that

So that is what is currently happening personally.  If people are to pray for us, then I felt it was important to be honest about some of the stuff going through my head.  Soon some more stories and reflections about what's happening with refugees in Glasgow, which will be more interesting (and succinct!).

I'll sign off with this, which I'm not entirely sure how relevant it is to everything above, but has been in my thoughts and meditations since happening across this passage on a flight to South America two years ago: 'By this we may be sure that we are in him:  whoever says, "I abide in him," ought to walk just as he walked.' (1 Jn 2:5b-6).  So much of the nuts and bolts of mission work boils down to this, as wonderfully simple and unbelievably difficult as it is.  If all our attempts to do mission, share the good news, transform our communities, are not underpinned by a genuine nurturing toward christlikeness and the fruit this should bear, something has gone awry.   It's a reminder I need anyway.

Paul

Posted by Paul and Emma at 6:17 pm | 2 comments  
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