Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Community not Anonymity
I rode my bike down to the supermarket last night for some milk. Eight months ago, this would’ve been a quick 5-minute errand. Not so anymore, I was there for half an hour. It seems almost impossible to go into the local Tesco supermarket without bumping into somebody that we know (especially in the evening when perishables are reduced). Many of the people we bump into regularly are from Middle Eastern cultures, so there is a round of niceties that must precede the conversation (e.g. how is your family? Are your mother and father ok? How is your cousin? Is your second cousin’s child doing well?). It takes time.This is not a complaint, it’s great to feel that we are now part of the community and recognised here. It’s one of the main reasons we decided to live where the refugees are housed. Shared experience fosters relationship.
There is a cost in living in community. It means the loss of the urban anonymity to which many of us have become accustomed. Theoretically, I believe this is a good thing, but it’s not always easy. There is minor inconvenience of just trying to “nip to the shop” for a pint of milk when you’re in a hurry and getting stuck there for 30 minutes. But more critically, it’s harder to maintain a façade in community.
I have learned that one of the guys who regularly attends the project has a gambling addiction. If I meet him in Tesco, he is initially embarrassed then encourages me to dissuade him from playing the lotto. He knows it is wrong, but needs the accountability of others to actually keep him from buying the tickets. This is one of the easier issues. Sometimes I’ll catch somebody doing something they shouldn’t, but then follows an implied request: “don’t tell my family”. Personally, it means that I must be more careful about how I react to things: what do I do when somebody jumps the queue at the shop? How do I treat the bus driver when he refuses to give me change for my ticket? What do I mutter when the train is cancelled?
A wonderful aspect of living in the local community is we have the opportunity to show how our words are backed up by how we live. On the other hand, it’s a great responsibility as you open yourself and others to accountability.
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